Pre-emptive mourning

I’m mourning things that have yet to happen which is not like me at all but there it is. Life is full enough of real things to worry about (right?), but yet I have found it difficult to shake it off this week. I tried a little retail therapy but it did not do the trick although I came home with paint and ink that were on sale and some thrifty goodies including old books and a Portuguese calendar from 1993 for collages.

Last night I craved some instant colour fixes to soothe my restless mind and oh man, it worked like a charm. With pages from the calendar as basis I painted, glued, pasted, ripped, coloured, drew and shaded and it was exhilarating. No thinking, no worries, just letting my intuition take charge without thinking about the next step. My friend Corrine from Dosfishes is, among other things, working with intuitive painting and has been setting up a new studio called Sparkle Days Studio to teach classes. I get it, Corrine; totally liberating!

This is what I started with this morning. Last night I primed the calendar page with tempera (hot orange and burnt umber) mixed with glue and pasted pieces of orange and turquoise handmade paper on top. Then I added scraps of tulle, pieces of a newspaper, fiber and watercolour paint.

This is my finished piece “Pre-emptive mourning” after slashing, gluing onto handmade carton and stitching with a metallic thread. It was a bit scary stitching through all those thick layers, but my machine stayed cool and calm throughout the process. So did I.

I love how different it looks from different angles
and the textures
and the raw edges
but it’s waaaay too small. It should have been huge so I could frame some of the details...