Wednesday, 20 January 2016

License to grieve

This summer I learned that my former mother in law was ill. After losing my father in law so suddenly just weeks before, I felt such an urge to tell her how much she had meant to me, and how much I had appreciated our relationship. I wanted to make a prayer flag and I wanted to send it to her. And this is where my inner voice started to question whether this was an appropriate thing to do. You see, there is no such thing as a guide to being a former in law, and still, my grief was just as real as if the formal ties had still been there.

After discussing my dilemma with friends and family, I made this little quilt, “Hope”.

Inspired by a tiny cross in a cartoon, I drew it out on dress maker’s pattern paper and paper pieced the different parts. 

I cut the outline with scissors, and appliquéd in onto a white background.

I slipped a piece of ribbon under the binding before stitching it to the back, and added a bamboo skewer so that it would hang flat. 

Made from scraps, Hope is light and bright and happy. She loved it.

This week she passed away. Never let the chance to tell someone that they matter pass. I am so glad I did, and that I still have a license to grieve.


  1. I'm so glad you reached out, some things are just too important to not follow your heart.

  2. Touching story and beautiful quilt. Hugs to you in your grieving.

  3. Fin historie du deler, og så bra du lagte denne quilten til din svigermor. Et kjært minne og opplevelse å ta med seg videre. :-)

  4. Veldig godt å ha gjort det man har tenkt førdet er for sent. Og man vet aldri når det er for sent, så det er bedre å være føre var. og for en nydelig quilt du laget til henne.

  5. beautiful....both the quilt and your sentiments.

  6. Thanks so much for sharing such a personal quilt and memory. Much appreciated, and many hugs being sent your way.